The Lone Ranger

So, being this will be a Mini review, it may contain spoilers. For those not interested in the spoilers, here’s a small sum up of how I feel about it. It’s Pirates Of The Caribbean in the old west. So not very good in terms of writing. Also Armie Hammer has no balls in this movie. Now onto my review.


The movie has major issues, pacing is fine, the acting is about on par with the actors’ usual talents. The special effects are good, very little CG. The main plot is very much like that of Pirates Of The Caribbean, focuses too much on Tonto aka Jack Sparrow with less dialogue and rambling. The story of the Lone Ranger isn’t about Tonto, it’s about the Lone Ranger. It should have been that Tonto would be a supporting character that we know very little about in this one. It should have focused the attention on building Hammer’s character and giving him a proper back story and leave Tonto out if it, until say the Third movie, if they make one.

I doubt it, as the movie flopped hard, and big time. Disney was expecting it to be a monster hit, unfortunately they got Armie Hammer. Johnny Depp, should consider less and less major roles. I liked him better in 21 Jump Street, reprising his character from the show and getting what he wanted out of the movie, which was resolution for his character. Armie Hammer, good god. The man has trouble acting, he has no balls for action and cannot hold weight for a big character like this. The only time I found he was good, was in The Social Network as the Winklevoss twins.

This seems to be a pattern for Disney’s big budget movies, aside from the Marvel ones which are Paramount and Marvel’s creative projects. John Carter has this same problem, don’t put someone who’s barely been in the movies as a main character. Unless they’ve proven that they can overshadow the main character in another movie. The only exception to this, was Christopher Reeve in the Superman movies of the past. He was a nobody before the first movie with Donner at the helm.

As interviews with Marc McClure, who played Jimmy Olsen said: “On set, Chris would ask me to refer to him as either Superman or Clark.” To help him stay in character. Which is awesome, Reeve would use method acting to help him keep perspective and make himself become that character. Anyway, I’m going on a tangent.

There are only 2 good things in this movie. One, is the action sequences. Unfortunately it kind of makes people lose interest when you can tell that the first action scene, has a climax that is insanely predictable and very unlikely. I could see it coming a mile away, especially when they show you that a piece of the drive linkage from the train almost hits the two, and then stops the train from squashing them. Kind of sad when its horrid layout. There were supposed to be funny scenes in the movie, and very few of them were funny. The humor is bad, cheap slapstick that isn’t funny. Two, I noticed was the writing team’s concealment of the main villain.

Granted he threw the secondary villain in our face like he was the main, so that helped. I had a feeling the main villain, being the most intelligent (Even more than Armie Hammer’s character), had some sort of hidden agenda that involved the love interest. I just didn’t expect it to be that big. Which was fine, as Tom Wilkinson is a great actor. Along with William Fichtner as the secondary villain. We just needed a much better hero.

This movie just left a bad taste in my mouth, they should’ve just made Pirates 5 and be done with this crew. Disney just needs to stop with the casting problems for main characters. Anyways, I’ll sign off for now. Look for a retro review coming up in a few days. I’ve been watching some old movies that I hadn’t seen and will be covering those in a new Retro segment.


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